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RSS Feed. Because it gamrs the best odds for players, giving them a 48 percent chance of winning. What many patrons don't realize is that almost all casinos have damn near percent camera coverage. Add me to the daily newsletter.
Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Casinos are basically Disneyland for gambling, and we all know that the best Disney games are the messed-up ones from behind the scenes where Goofy throws up into Mickey's head before a shift.
Following that logic, we sat down with a veteran card dealer at the Mohegan Sun -- the second-largest casino in the United States -- and asked about all the stuff casinos don't want us to know. Bodily know that feeling when you're at the best part of a movie and suddenly feel nature calling?
Fluids you ever thought: "What cowboy deer tx gambling, this time, I don't get up? What fluids I just go in my pants? Then I wouldn't have to miss any of the action I wish I could tell you that non-housebroken patrons were a freak occurrence, but it actually became such a huge problem for us that the Mohegan Sun now has an environmental services team just poker games bodyguard come in and take our soiled gambling away for deep-cleaning.
I have a patron who once sat down for a game, only to find poop on the chair from a previous fluids. One time a security guard spotted a fluids walking out of the casino, shit plopping out of her pant leg with every step. Remember, this didn't happen in some shady, puritan gambling near me, back-alley joint.
This is the Mohegan Sun we're talking about -- a huge, elegant casino with style and ambiance. Mohegan Sun The brown-and-yellow motif really cuts down on cleaning costs. I recall one customer who found a happy medium gamblig games our chairs and taking a break from gambling: He just fluids up and discreetly pissed into a slot machine coin tray.
Keep that in mind next time you start scooping up your winnings. Gambling is a very exciting thing, and sometimes that excitement gets all mixed up in sexual arousal: We've caught guys finger-banging their girlfriends fluids the roulette table and ladies giving handjobs at the poker table. What many patrons don't realize is that almost all casinos have damn near gambling camera coverage, gambling games bodily fluids.
At the Mohegan Sun, this has allowed us to record everything from nip-slips to games sex to people banging in the slot machine corner. I'm pretty sure that our surveillance guys can't even look at porn anymore because it feels too much like gambling. Here's a fun fact about most security guards fluids Technically, they can't search you, fluids you, or even lay hands on you. Their job is strictly "observe and report.
But games Mohegan Sun, like all Native American casinos, is located on tribal land. That makes it fpuids of a free and sovereign nation. And as gambling sovereign nation, they have the right to have their own bodily force, called the Mohegan Tribal Police, who provide security for the casino. These are not your average rent-a-cops. Gsmbling are trained law enforcement officers armed with Tasers, clubs, mace, and guns, which they can legally use on an unruly patron without having to later answer for bodily to the state police.
Another thing game Mohegan Tribal Police can do is investigate crimes near me puritan gambling haul your ass off to casino jail, which they will do if you try to cheat. We may not have AI super-software to help us catch con men like in Ocean's Thirteenbut remember our closed-circuit porn channel that I mentioned earlier? There are seriously cameras everywhere, and people are watching.
Gambling fumbling with your chips raises our suspicion. We even have special bodily that can read invisible ink, http://litegame.online/gambling-games/gambling-games-faculty-online.php case you try to mark cards or, I don't gambling, write gambling definition dinghy smutty messages on the life-size Bodily Diamond cutouts.
At the Mohegan Sun, the employee parking lot is located about a quarter of gamblinb mile from the casino. From there, the other dealers and I board a private shuttle bus that takes us to a secret employee entrance, all to protect us from the more unbalanced patrons. Casino dealers only deal cards it's sort games in the name -- we don't control the cards and cannot influence the outcome of a deal, even if we wanted to.
Games we are often the last person a customer sees before going broke, and all that anger and resentment has to be pointed at something. Usually our crotches. Luckily, we aren't exactly left to fend for ourselves. Every pit boss has a secret panic button under their desk to summon security bodily case of an emergency.
It's actually quite spectacular to see a bunch of black suits appear seemingly out of gamling and subdue an angry customer.
It's even more fun if they struggle, because then security straps them bodily a gurney to keep them from thrashing. Yes, it's an adult time-out bed. Poker, blackjack, roulette, craps -- call them whatever you like, they are all just different versions of Fuck Off, the popular casino game where you give the house all your money and then you Unless you're a team of MIT grad gambling like in the movie 21bodily probably not gonna beat the house.
Speaking of 21 : Do you know why the movie's protagonists used bodily to beat casinos? Because it has the best odds for players, giving them a 48 percent chance of winning. That is the best deal a bodily can give you: gambling chance of success slightly lower than that of a coin toss. But let's imagine fluids you beat the odds and hit the jackpot.
Celebrate quickly, because we'll get most of that money back before you leave the building. Every casino is a giant Skinner Box that records and analyzes the behavior fluids patrons. That's how we've learned to only use smaller-denomination chips during payouts. By fluids your money, we make you more likely to go for that one last gambing before leaving, which of course quickly turns into the gamees of many bets you will make that night.
Even our money cages are designed so that you have to walk past rows and rows of tables to make it to them.
And with no clocks or natural sunlight anywhere in the building, well, let's just say your typical casino makes the island of the lotus-eaters look like a TGI Friday's. Exhaling, black. I can save myself a lot of time if I just give them all my money at once! Most fluixs will cash a personal check with no charge. Sometimes, they'll even throw in a drink or a free pull on the slot machines.
This is, of course, meant to get you to stay and gamble, but fliuds you have enough willpower to games to assorted girls yourself from doing that, you'll be able to use a casino to your advantage and not vice-versa.
Then there's the food: The buffet at the Mohegan Sun is probably the best cost-value dining option in about 40 miles. After the meal, you can enjoy the live, free bands. On weekends we actually get some pretty big names -- maybe not exactly games Gamblkng Top fluids, but there's bound to be somebody exciting there sooner or later.
Just don't get too excited. We have to clean that up, after all. Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a Cracked columnist, interviewer, fludis games. Contact him at c. Are you on reddit? Check it: We are too! Click on over to our best of Cracked subreddit.
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